Robin

Great re-write of a thoughtless Daily News Headline

Robin Williams death  a few days ago was so shocking to me that I haven't even spoken to my wife  about how its affecting me. I thought I would let everyone else comment and issue platitudes about 'sending prayers' and besides enough wonderful lovely things were being said by others. It affected me because of my own history of depression. Depression is no joke but you can tell jokes about it. Jokers can have it.
I did not know that I was depressed until I walked into a doctors office back in England in 1972 and after he asked me 'what's wrong'? I just unraveled. I literally came apart in his office and it got so out of hand so quickly that I was in a daze as I heard my doctor calling my college principal to tell him that I would not be back. I would have to drop out of the course. Then he rang my parents. After that I was hospitalized briefly, became an outpatient at a the Royal Victoria Hospital's psychiatric facility in Westbourne. I was prodded, poked, questioned and examined extemsively. Then they put me on Temazepam and Valium. I went to group therapy sessions with depressed fired executives and middle-aged woman suffering after the change. People who had received Electro Convulsive Therapy would come to the sessions shaking like leaves as their nervous systems reset. It was horrific and I am unconvinced that it cured me. That I did by myself. However my personal descent in to that brief hell left me with a edgy, defensive nature and sometimes gives people pause. I know that I can be difficult and capricious and I unreservedly apologize to anyone who has suffered because of that but its my defense mechanism. I will never go back to that dark place, I will never stop striving to create, collaborate and this is my coping mechanism. 

Robin's was making people laugh. 

It may seem hard to understand that canceling his TV 'The Crazy Ones show hit him so hard but it make perfect sense to me. Be kind to his memory, he was kind to us all his entire life. 


“Cricket is basically baseball on valium.” Robin Williams onstage at The London Palladium in front of a British audience and The Queen. 

LOVE.

Humans without Humanity

The unpalatable truth is that however twisted we think it is ISIS fighters believe they are on a holy mission and do not care whether they live or die and espouse a philosophy that anyone who does not follow their version of Islam is only worthy of death.. If a genuine IS Caliphate is established they will export this kind of terror to the West which is all in a state of apostasy according to them and therefore deserving of death. In the meantime all the decades of social changes in the West supported by a rule of law and legal precedents are being overturned in cities like Birmingham by weighting our liberal dice against us. 

Obviously people in Britain and other western countries think that boys and girls should be educated together [this is a prerequisite for any society that believes in sexual equality] but just by exploiting and turning our own democratic processes against us a simple conspiracy was allowed to fester in Britain's second largest city - and at a stroke boys and girls are segregated and our social mores are ripped to shreds. This time the 'plot was uncovered and now a ridiculous discussion is going on about what it means to be British?! 

I do not agree with Enoch Powell's River of Blood speeches but its easier now to understand him perhaps. When immigration is allowed from countries that have no history of democracy where their religions have not gone through any kind of reformation since the middle ages and beyond one introduces a massive social ripple that has effects no one seems able to predict. ISIS is evil for sure. Whatever we want, whatever we hope for may now be too late - It seems inevitable that a polarizing of opinion in the West against immigration and in particular against Muslims will follow whatever heinous act ISIS has in store for us. The so called surgical strikes in IRAQ last night have already resulted in hundreds of direct threats where ISIS tells us we are next. 

We are in an ideological religious war whether we like it or not. These people are barbarous and appeasement will not work. We will need strong stomachs for what is to come and in the meantime the West and Russia cannot even agree on Syria and are also distracted by events in the Ukraine.

"Those who know, do not speak

Incredibly disturbing reports from the UK about serial sex offender and pedophile, Jimmy Saville. The amazing thing is people knew, lots of people.  Even I had heard unsubstantiated reports as far back as the 80s that it was well known in the  showbusiness world that Jimmy Saville was a pedophile. We also used to hear about George Michael being gay long before it came out but show people keep their secrets it seems.   These rumors didn't really have proof attached but the amount and frequency suggested a lot of truth to them. It sickens me to say it now but the culture of silence is all too easy to explain.  

 

Watch the clip when Dr Sue Proctor describes incredibly disturbing evidence of Savile's necrophilia

While at Beaufort School as a pre-pubescent teen I joined the school brass band led by conductor and Religious Instruction teacher, Kenneth Cook.  His nickname at school amongst the boys was 'Bummer Cook - there were endless stories of Mr Cook inviting boys to his beach hut in Mudeford to play quoits. Never girls despite this being a mixed school. The stories from the multiple occasions when these invitations were made and accepted were always roughly the same. A middle aged man invites a group of impressionable boys to the beach, they play a seemingly harmless game, run around on the beach, dive into the sea and then a slightly creepy invitation to 'get out of those wet trunks' boys was always made. Grooming? Harmless?  We cannot know. If any boys were abused their shame and confusion probably meant that they did not even tell their friends.  Further since Cook's predatory nature and nickname were common knowledge amongst the entire school [at least the kids anyway]. I think this led to a general belief amongst us children that the responsible adults and teachers at the school must have known and therefore condoned his behavior.

And so it continued for years. 

Now it transpires that Saville's pedophile tendancies were perhaps put into the shade by his necrophilia, elder abuse. He ravaged young girls, young boys, old people, prisoners, injured hospital patients, and even corpses in fact his sick palette and desires may never be fully explained or discovered.

He believed himself above the law and many powerful people in positions of authority in Government and the BBC either unwittingly but sometimes in full knowledge of his crimes colluded, aided and abetted his depravity.

Rape and sexual violence survivors must be safe to make their accusations without fear of being ostracized, they must feel that their stories will be listened to and that action is taken.

I found Jimmy Saville and even my old bandmaster creepy and avoided any contact with men and predatory types - I may have been one of the lucky ones. Just as Saville had some many victims running to the hundreds so I believe it is true of almost all of these depraved and disgusting individuals until caught they do not stop abusing. Whenever someones hard drive is found to contain disturbing sexual images of children it always seems like these are from a collection of thousands of perverse and illicit material.

There is more.  Visitors to BBC Broadcasting House where Savile commited some of his crimes features a statue of Prospero and Ariel by the Sculptor/Typographer Eric Gill.  Gill chronicled his sick attacks on not only his children but also the family dog in his journals. Take a look now at the Ariel/Propero statue which features a naked child between Propero's open legs: 

 Doesn't seem so harmless or classical now that you know that Eric Gill was a sick individual?  Why is Ariel naked? Why a young boy? Ariel is a spirit that Shakespeare does not reveal to be either male or female via Prospero's words.  Eric Gill suggestively puts a naked young boy between the legs of a Prospero whose right knee protrudes while a submissive Ariel leans on his thigh.

What about Eric Gill's Piping to the Children sculpture which features a naked adult piper surrounded by children?
http://www.the-big-picture.org.uk/wp/?page_id=10092http://www.the-big-picture.org.uk/wp/?page_id=10092

..according to his biographer, Fiona MacCarthy, Gill’s personal diaries described how he sexually abused his own children, had an incestuous relationship with his sister and performed sexual acts on his dog. 

I can no longer use Gill Sans which Eric Gill designed and is one of my favorite typefaces/fonts.  I can't listen to records by Gary Glitter, R Kelly and I have a hard time with Michael Jackson too.  If Hitler had been a really good painter could we look at an exhibition of his work without remembering the atrocities of the war?

I think I stand on the side of not celebrating these creeps. While I am vehemently opposed to censorship I think that lines can be crossed.

Spy vs Spy

The title? 

Mirror images of destruction

For those who don't know it comes from the old MAD comic and in the strip the White spy and Black spy are constantly locked in an interminable battle to destroy each other. Neither wins, no one really loses.  I think back in the day it might have been a commentary on super powers but for me it can also be a metaphor for an internal struggle or illustrates the rather pointless nature of control through the original Mutually Assured Destruction [MAD geddit] policies of the recent past.  Or the pointlessness of Catholic vs Protestant, Shia vs Sunni and so on.  

Its also an aggressive Yin/Yang, action/reaction meme too. Whereas in the Yin-Yang 'wheel' the forces are harmoniously locked the Spy Vs idea is closer to the self perpetuating blood feuds of two evenly matched hillbilly dynasties.

Protecting the invisible - The heros of Guardians of The Voiceless

Its a very hard thing indeed to to watch helpless animals tortured and abused anywhere. What is equally surprising is that in a poor country like India where the sanctity of life seems absent, where women live in fear of rape, where a lower class can never escape their origins that a selfless group of volunteers is dedicated to protecting those with no voice. In particular they save and help defenseless sick dogs but their grander mission is to create a 'kinder world'.  Here's a typical video from their daily volunteer work:guardians of the voiceless.

Home again home again jiggity jig

Leaving in a few hours. Visit has gone well considering it was very last minute. It was very nice to see Dan and wife, Karen who generously put me up for a couple of nights in North Finchley now renamed NoFi [by me]. I am looking forward very much to getting home to New York though.  I miss the lifestyle there and although London this time around had many pleasant surprises in store I am still shocked by how expensive transport, eating out and sometimes just basic necessities are here.   My palms begin to itch as I remember how difficult some of my years in the nineties were.  I was dealing with a marriage break-up, my music career was stagnant and I was in a permanent state of worry about bringing up my daughter, Savannah. I struggled to find my voice, my place, struggled to find myself.  Around twenty years ago I returned to acting and walked away from a music career that wasn't really exciting me any more.


It took almost ten years to find a way out of that becalmed state and then in the early 2000s my wife was offered a job in NYC.   That has changed our lives and now I have a real purpose and feel that I am making a difference in NYC specifically in Queens. 

I have a new love now but London was a favored paramour now a platonic friend.

Mixed emotions about British Values?

So the peculiar thing about my relationship with my home country is this; Its a love-hate thing with not much middle ground. Briefly saw a friend Laura Killeen at Village Underground in Shoreditch. Loved it. Used the 41 Bus to get to Archway, had to run to a stop that seemed too far from the previous one, seats small. Hated It. Used the London Overground for the first time which now links Crystal Palace in the South to East London and loops round to Richmond. Loved it. Went to Oxford St. Hated it. Watched some morning TV programmes, Jeremy Kyle, The Wright Stuff, Aussie Undercover Boss.  Hated It. Every small shop, Tesco express etc packed with chocolates, candy and garbage nr checkouts. Hated It.  Met Kate Garner in a coffee shop that allowed dogs in Crouch End. Loved It.  

The Union Jack is flying in the short video  but I thought about the upcoming vote on Scottish Independence which I suppose would mean this flag and what it represents would have to be replaced?

This flag was flying outside a Servicemen and womens social centre on a street which has a thinly disguised Nazi 'shop' near to another store with signs in Arabic near to a large building [diamond business] run by Orthodox Jews and the breadth and uncontrolled growth of multi-culturalism made me wonder how this will play out. I'm 100% pro cultural diversity but I do wonder whether the masses that have emigrated here care in the same way?  There seems to be some evidence that a lot of new immigrants didn't come to integrate and assimilate but perhaps came as economic migrants with a determination to create a home away from home.  In Birmingham this has allegedly led to 'Islamization' of schools that are not supposed to be faith based.  Perhaps none of this would matter except that the so called 'sexual' revolution of the sixties and the social changes following the grim 70s/80s could be rolled back by immigrant mores and customs that have no correlation to the sometimes hard won concessions that society as it was only a short time ago demanded.   

What are British Values anyway? 

Do we actually know?  - the same tolerance and inclusiveness that we espouse might be used to repress the rights of ethnic children born here in insidious ways.   The average white Brit regardless of their politics would find segregation of a boys and girls at school regressive and 'Victorian' wouldn't they?   We abolished it for our own children decades ago but will we now fight for the rights of these newer Brits against their own traditions and religious customs?

Is Britain really a Christian country considering we have one of the lowest attendances among so called Christian countries in Europe?  Why was I made to sing the following:

Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war, 
With the cross of Jesus, going on before.. 

and so on.....   It seemed innocuous when I was seven and we sang it by rote but now?  Offensive to Muslims, Sikhs, Jews and others? Definitely.

Waiting for an answer?

Been away, just got back...

 [this i

In the summer, I had a blast working with a great cast on Macbeth. The show went brilliantly, the audiences loved it and there are many good reasons for us all to look back fondly on the show. Fall was coming but the sun was shining the day I knew we were going to open another theatre. [this is a post that ended up not getting posted until now so its a little old]

Gum Job

One way or another we pay for our teeth. You either pay for them by being consigned to foods that can pass through a straw, by being forced to wear dentures or through the nose when you try to fix em whether retroactively or proactively. 

During my recent UK visit I was actually as shocked as a real American; I guess I am the gone native type now?

Maybe my values are changing?

A few years ago I decided that my own British teeth could no longer be presented in polite society. It has cost a fortune and no little pain to get them partially sorted but there is more to go. There were times I felt guilty at the money but at the same time I also felt there was nothing I could do other than cover up a lifetime of neglect.  In Britain I had a rag bag of treatments from assorted dentists over the years that had left me with mismatched crowns, veneers, filings and ultimately missing teeth.

Though I don't want Brits to be all fake-baked tanned and brilliant white pearlies I cannot understand why even people who can afford it don't fix their chompers.  

Just a few weeks ago I was giving a speech where I made a typically near to the bone joke in front of Americans when I pleaded for them to stop making British dental failures the butt of their jokes, accused them of being racist and then told them to pick on the Chinese instead.  At the back of my mind I guess I was thinking, 'British teeth not as bad as everyone says' in just the same way that I try valiantly to convince people that it doesn't rain that much and that food in Britain has improved immeasurably.  

I only really see people reluctantly agree with the food comments.  They might be right, can't fix the rain but you can spend a little less at the pub and make your gnashers less of a public health hazard.

A Town called Tombstone

I made my way to Britain.   It was an epic journey - here's the description I put on Facebook:

JOURNEY TO JES HOLDEN FUNERAL FROM NYC TO HONOR OAK

My Kuwaiti air stewards/esses were not as friendly as this bunch. Terrifying actually.

The journey was a Mazda epic though. I dropped off car and then straight onto the Subway - of course the E train decided to go Local when they said Express and also stopped in tunnels cause of signal problems. Then the gate was closing so had to be walked through security except that they searched my bag cos of the Pepto which is an essential travel item for me. Anywhoo... made it onto plane. Seat doesn't recline and is old so uncomfortable. A young Kuwaiti-American sits next to me and starts babbling. Tells me he popped some special pills cos he's a nervous traveler. Sleeps and drools all the way through flight [you'da hated it, I wasn't too keen] watching him eat/drop his dinner was like watching a heroin addict play with his food using a one pronged fork. Oh.. yeah the food, shit veggie slush there is NO advantage to getting your food early that just prolongs the agony. THEN jet lagged forgot about London traffic [appalling] sooo journey to South London takes an age. My lift has by now left for the Crematorium.So I dive into a realty place that I used to work at to borrow the restroom dump the case, change like Superman from Clark Kent to Black Tie Gangster then to a London Black Cab.

Honor Oak Crematorium - Palais des Morte

Drops me off at wrong part of the Cemetery and I nearly end up joining a burial party for a S London criminal [you can always tell their funerals] hike to the right Chapel and was on time.... phew. People were really really pleased that I made it. Jes was sent to the flames with a Millwall FC [hardest football team in league/nutso fans] flag on the coffin to the tune of London's Calling. Job done.



Cremated or buried ?

Vultures feed off of the dead in a Sky Burial

Brits [72%] apparently prefer to go into the cleansing fire compared to Americans [40%], Italians [10%]. And of course the Tibetans like Sky Burials, Water Burials, Embalming and have a unique concept of what to do with the corpses considering the ground is often frozen and there are not enough trees but plenty of vultures.





Here's my 'living will' or dying wish for my disposal:  

• All mourners should attend the service which will hopefully be a mixture of Anglican Humanist mumbo jumbo in full costume[it's called Fancy Dress in Britain] - yes that is right, if invited by my surviving family I would like to 'see' all of you in a 'costume' not unlike the American Halloween tradition but a genuine costume from a show would also be very fine.  No black ties or suits unless its full on Men in Black or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels please. Sexy French Maid, Marilyn Monroe, Justin Bieber, Clown, Pantomime Horse all acceptable. A boring cheap suit or Kentucky Derby/Ascot hat not encouraged at all.
• I request the two following songs be played:
  
  With a surfeit of hubris I would like 'The World Has Changed' by The Fleshtones to be played in its entirety after any eulogies or words from friends and family. This is what I consider to be my first real professional production in which I channeled Joe Meek/George Martin/Lee Scratch Perry/Phil Spector and my other favorite producers.  My second song of choice would be The Trammps 'Disco Inferno' [http://youtu.be/A_sY2rjxq6M] please also check out this Youtube video for approved funeral service dance steps.  This song is to be played as the cardboard coffin descends into the furnace. Mass dancing should ensue..
•  If you come in the full Trammps orange flared cat suits then you may win a prize.

Please do try to clap on the second and fourth beats. Whats'ever it is its gots to be funky.   

Here's the hymn sheet:

(Burn baby burn)
(Burn baby burn)
(Burn baby burn)
(Burn baby burn)
To my surprise, one hundred stories high

People getting loose y'all, getting down on the roof

Folks are screaming, out of control

It was so entertaining when the boogie started to explode

I heard somebody say
(Burn baby burn) disco inferno
(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down
(Burn baby burn) disco inferno
(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down
Satisfaction came in a chain reaction
(Burnin')
I couldn't get enough, so I had to self-destruct
The heat was on, rising to the top
Everybody going strong, and that is when my spark got hot
I heard somebody say
(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down y'all

(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down
 
Up above my head

I hear music in the air

That makes me know

There's a party somewhere
Satisfaction came in a chain reaction

(Burnin')
I couldn't get enough, so I had to self-destruct

The heat was on, rising to the top

Everybody going strong, and that is when my spark got hot

I heard somebody say
(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down

(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down
(Burn baby burn)

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down

(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down
(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot
(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

When my spark gets hot
(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot

(Just can't stop) when my spark gets hot
(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down

(Burn baby burn) disco inferno

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down

(Burn baby burn)

(Burn baby burn) burn that mother down

(Burn baby burn) disco inferno